Here’s a few thoughts I have concerning portraits:
1. Include complete body parts. Be careful not cropping part of the head, or leaving part of an arm out of the frame, for example. I suggest also to keep some ”breathing space” all around the person.
2. Check the eyes’ expression and make sure your camera is focusing on them. You did a great job on this point. The eyes’ expression can make a huge difference on a person. Very little detail but of primordial importance.
3. Watch the background. Try to keep the background as simple as possible and verify if it fits the feel you want to give to your picture.
BTW, talking of vintage feel, it might be interesting to try to edit your pictures with a sepia tone or selective coloring…
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