The Most Expensive Calendar Ever

by | Mar 5, 2015 | Perspective, Stories & Expeditions | 2 comments

One of the goals on my “dream list” is to sell calendars through Hobby Lobby.

Well, I’ve been at it for a couple of years. Last year, I was instructed to go to a Hobby Lobby store and observe their calendar selection to get a feel for what sells, then make my calendar sorta fit in. So I did, and bought one to have as a reference for putting together my submission. It was $13.99, the first calendar I have ever bought in my life. As a calendar producer, I make calendars, not buy them. But it was a good cause.

Retail stores make their decisions on what calendars to sell about a year in advance, so I was working on my submission for a 2016 calendar in February. When I was finished, I sent it to the printers for a quote and quickly learned that $13.99 wasn’t expensive at all.

To print the two sample calendars necessary, one for Hobby Lobby and one for myself, the total price came out to be $146.85. How’s that for expensive?! But it was for a good cause. But sadly, that’s not the end of the story.

The printers made the samples and sent one to Hobby Lobby and the other to me. Via FedEx.

3945_Salem-West Virginia-USA_Canon EOS 5D Mark II, 24 mm, 1-100 sec at f - 8.0, ISO 400

Doesn’t look too deep, now does it?

The day the package came, it was bright and sunny, but it was bitter cold and there was snow all over the ground. And this wasn’t you’re regular snow cover. It was all mixed with rain and slush and ice from varying temperatures and odd weather patterns. Our driveway was pretty bad because we couldn’t plow it; our tractor was in the shop. Suffice it to say that the driveway was trecherous, even though it really didn’t look it.

3836_Salem-West Virginia-USA_Canon EOS 5D Mark II, 40 mm, 1-200 sec at f - 11, ISO 200

Doesn’t look too treacherous, now does it?

Well, the FedEx guy came in his van to drop off the calendar. A very small package, just too big to fit in a mailbox. He got up the driveway just fine. But when he tried to turn around . . . that was a different story.

For the next hour, two brothers and I fought against mud, slush and ice with shovel, truck and chain to dig, shove and pull that FedEx van back onto the driveway and pointed in the right direction. Three times. Smoked tires and a completely amputated rear-view mirror (the result of too-close proximity to a tree), were added to the poor FedEx guy’s expense of lost time.

When it was all over, I got to wondering what the real cost of that calendar was. Including “delivery” costs and time lost . . . I don’t even want to guess. Whatever the cost, I wouldn’t be surprised if it was the most expensive calendar ever.

3826_Salem-West Virginia-USA_Canon EOS 5D Mark II, 40 mm, 1-250 sec at f - 18, ISO 400

P.S. Wish I had a good end to the story, but it truly is a bummer that my 2016 bid was rejected by Hobby Lobby. I kinda wonder who has their sample calendar. Last I heard it was on it’s way to some clearance facility. 🙂 Such is the life of artists!

2 Comments

  1. Mom & Dad

    Hard life lesson; but the One who has called you to your life work is faithful.
    Grace, peace, and joy continue to be with you.

    Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Send the next blog post straight to your email inbox!

Thank you for subscribing!